People often think that only salespeople need to speak well because their income and career growth depend on how many products they sell and the revenue they generate for the company. But not many realize that, in a way, we are all salespeople in society. We are constantly selling ourselves—trying to make people like us or trust us.
That’s why knowing what to say and what not to say is so important. Communication is such a broad topic that we can't cover every possible situation, but in this article, I’ll give you a guide on what not to say to someone who could impact your salary, career opportunities, and growth—your boss.
I've worked in both family-owned companies and large global corporations, listed in the Fortune 500, dealing with male and female bosses of different ages. Based on my experiences, here are some things your boss likely doesn’t want to hear from you.
1. "I don't know"
I have to start with "I don’t know" because it's honestly one of the most common phrases people use without realizing why it may not be the best choice. It's a normal response when someone asks you something outside your expertise. So, why is being truthful in this way seen as negative?
There’s nothing wrong with being truthful. However, when your boss asks you a question, they want a solution, a suggestion, or at least to see an effort to find an answer. This is how companies grow—by having people who are always learning, willing to explore new solutions, and thinking creatively.
If your answer is always “I don’t know,” don’t expect a significant raise or promotion—because you’re not making a difference. Instead, try saying, “I’ll need to look into that. Can I update you by [specific time]?” This shows initiative, a willingness to learn, and a proactive attitude.
These are other better options for your reference:
"Let me find out and get back to you."
"I’m not sure right now, but I’ll do some research."
"I don’t have the answer at the moment, but I will check with [another person/team] who might know."
2. "I told you so"
When you say "I told you so," it's often in response to something going wrong, and it can come across as if you're saying it's not your responsibility—that it's your boss's fault
You might not mean it that way; maybe you're just trying to point out that you had previously mentioned something. But trust me, this phrase often feels like, "I told you to do something, but you didn’t listen, and now this is happening." It sounds like blame. And while you might be right, it doesn’t feel good. Your boss is human, after all, and nobody likes being criticized—that’s just human psychology.
What’s more important is that what’s done is done. If something goes wrong, especially if it affects your team or the company, you’ll stand out more by offering a solution instead of just saying, "It’s not my fault."
So next time, try saying something like, "I noticed this could be an issue, and I have some ideas on how we can address it moving forward." This approach demonstrates that you're not only aware of potential problems but also proactive in finding solutions.
It shifts the conversation from blame to collaboration and problem-solving, which is far more productive. It shows you’re focused on moving the team forward and finding ways to improve, rather than just pointing fingers. Remember, it’s not just about being right—it’s about being a valuable team player who contributes positively, even in difficult situations.
These examples could also be one of your better phrases:
"I recall discussing this point before. Let’s review it and find a solution together."
"It seems the concern I raised has come up. How can we work on resolving it?"
What if you haven't come up with a solution yet?
You could just say "I noticed this concern we discussed has come up. I’m looking into possible solutions and will let you know as soon as I have a plan."
These phrases acknowledge the issue, show that you’re actively working on it, and invite collaboration or input from your boss.
3. "I'm not paid enough"
Simply saying "I'm not paid enough" is not the best way to approach your boss. It can come across as a complaint rather than a constructive conversation.
Do your bosses care about your increasing bills? They might empathize because they’ve been in similar situations, but they are not responsible for solving those problems directly. If you only mention what you’re lacking, it might just seem like a personal issue to them.
Instead, focus on your accomplishments and the value you’ve added to the company. This makes your concerns a shared issue, prompting your boss to engage in a positive discussion about solutions.
Frame your discussion around your contributions and future goals. For example, you might say, "I’d like to discuss my role and performance over the past year and explore how we can align my compensation with the value I bring to the team."
One thing to remember is that salary discussions are nuanced.
I have a friend who worked for a major company, once the largest in America, renowned for its thriving work environment, competitive salaries, amazing benefits, and growth opportunities. However, everything changed dramatically when global oil prices plummeted, causing the company to shrink and leading to layoffs. Those who remained hadn't received a salary increase in two years.
His bosses frequently asked the team about their well-being and any difficulties they faced during meetings. The common feedback was complaints about stagnant salaries, bonuses, and increased workloads due to the layoffs.
When the market recovered, my friend was the only team member promoted to a managerial position and received a significant salary increase. His boss once said, "It was because he did a great job and because he was the only one who never complained during the company’s hard times." Complaining wouldn’t improve the situation; his boss already knew about the challenges. Instead, he focused on his work, took on more responsibilities, and contributed solutions and ideas to help address ongoing issues.
From the perspective of the company or its leaders, if you are their employee, you are all in the same boat. When the boat is lost at sea for an extended period, with limited resources and many people on board, everyone feels the strain. They don’t need constant reminders of hunger or discomfort while they are working to navigate the boat to safety, as everyone is already aware of the situation.
So, what’s the takeaway? When discussing salary, in addition to approaching the conversation effectively, you must conduct thorough research and review beforehand. Assess your achievements, contributions to the company, and what you have done and can do. Also, consider the company’s financial health and market salary ranges.
The world is big, but always full of surprises!
These tips might not land you the salary increase or promotion you’re aiming for right away, but they’ll definitely leave a good impression on your boss. Showing that you’re logical and sensible, understand your worth, and are aware of the situation can go a long way.
Even if things don’t improve in your current role, this approach could open doors for you elsewhere. And remember, you never know when you might cross paths with your boss again, both in work and in life. The world is big, but it’s always full of surprises.
Be kind and level-headed.
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